


You can't hide the truth

by JoannaMay



Category: Call the Midwife
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-07 11:48:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 6,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14080260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoannaMay/pseuds/JoannaMay
Summary: Sister Bernadette is attacked and tries to hide it.





	1. Chapter 1

Sister Bernadette walks her bike home on her usual route along the Thames. She's tired after a long delivery and just wants a relaxing walk to clear her head. But she can't clear her head. Thoughts of Doctor Turner swim around her mind and she can't get rid of them. Sighing, she picks up her pace as a cold wind blows. She needs to get back, the cold is already setting into her bones. She whips around as she hears someone cough behind her. In the dim light she can see a man hunched over the railing, seeming to be ill. She parks her bike against the railing and cautiously walks towards him, keeping her distance to be safe.   
"Sir, are you alright?" She says, stopping a little ways away from him. He looks up and straightens up. He's tall and broad and fairly young.  
"I'm fine thank you." He says. A predatory look crosses his face and he takes a step towards her. Sister Bernadette steps away from him.  
"Don't be scared." He whispers. "I only want to see what's underneath." Fear consumes Sister Bernadette and she takes several steps back. He lunges for her and grabs her around the waist, pushing her in to the railing. She tries to claw at him but he holds her hands away from him.  
"Feisty aren't you? I like it when women put up a fight. Makes it more fun." He whispers in her ear. She whimpers, tears falling from her eyes. He pushes her to the floor where she manages to kick him, but this only makes him hold her down more forcefully. He parts her legs and settles between them, kissing her lips and smiling. She can't taste or smell any alcohol on his breath, which means he's completely in control of this situation. He forces one of her arms under her body, pinning her down. He tears off her wimple and cards his hand through her hair.  
"So beautiful. So perfect. So pure." He says. "I get to be the first to have you." She tries to scream but he covers her mouth with his hand.  
"Shh." He removes his hand and undoes his trousers. He hitches up her skirts and pulls her underwear aside. He kisses her again and pulls her arm out from underneath her and holds her hand above her head. He enters her and she feels a burning pain like she has never felt before. She cries out.  
"Stop it! Get off me! Please! Get off me!" She screams.  
"No. You're a good one." He says, moving within her. She cries and prays that this will end. He groans softly as he finishes and lets go of her. She scrambles into a sitting position. He crouches down when he's done his trousers up. He caresses her face and she hits his hand away. He slaps her round the face and laughs at the whimper that escapes her.  
"Not so pure now are you?" He taunts. "Don't tell anyone. I know where you are, Sister. It's our little secret. Promise me?"  
She doesn't respond, only cries. Anger contorts his face and he hits her again, hard. He brings his hand down repeatedly, ignoring her screams of pain. He throws her against the wall and punches her stomach, then her chest, then her hip. He stops and holds her wrists against the wall.  
"I'm going to ask again. You aren't going to tell anyone about this are you?" He spits at her.  
"No." She whispers, shaking her head and crying. He lets her go again and kisses her neck softly, almost in a caring way.  
"Good." He stalks off and she sinks to her knees. She weeps for what seems like years but is only a few minutes. She wipes he face, seeing blood. She checks and finds a small cut on her jaw.  
"I can hide that." She whispers, reassuring herself as she gets up and puts her wimple back on. She slowly makes her way back to her bike and tries to mount it but the pain is too much to bear and she cries out. She breathes deeply then, slowly and cautiously, makes her way home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic hints at past abuse as well as rape.  
> Thank you for reading. Reviews are appreciated. :)


	2. Chapter 2

Sister Bernadette parks her bike in the shed and goes up the steps of Nonnatus House. She lets herself in as quietly as possible. She hopes that she won't see anyone, but she has no such luck when she rounds the corner into the clinical room. Sister Evangelina is at the autoclave, just about to clean some instruments. She smiles at Sister Bernadette.  
"Give your instruments here, I'll get them cleaned." She says. Sister Bernadette opens her bag and hands over the equipment. "What did Mrs Henderson have this time?" Sister Evangelina asks.  
"A not so little boy. Weighing in at nine pounds three ounces." Sister Bernadette replies, trying to fight back tears.  
"Good gosh. She's a tiny woman!" Sister Evangelina remarks, chuckling softly. "You look tired. Go on. I'll clean everything up here. You get to bed." She adds.  
Sister Bernadette nods gratefully and thanks her as she leaves.

Sister Evangelina watches her go and notices that Sister Bernadette is hunched over and walking with more caution than she normally does. She makes a mental note to let Sister Julienne know in the morning. 

Sister Bernadette closes her door and leans against it. She sinks to the floor and her body heaves with silent sobs. 

The next morning she wakes at four after a restless sleep and slowly gets up, hissing at the pain she feels in her stomach and sides. She still feels the burning pain where he forced himself on her and let's a few tears of shame fall. She dresses quickly, noticing the bruises that cover her body. They remind her of being a child again, always covered in bruises and cuts. She sits on her bed with her Bible in hand and reads a few passages before Sister Julienne knocks on her door for Lauds. She follows Sister Julienne in silence. 

When they get to the chapel they begin Lauds. Sister Bernadette prays that no one will notice that she is slightly hunched, in effort to ease the pain. When they bow, she lets out a small gasp of pain. She doesn't think anyone else heard and she joins the singing again. As they leave, Sister Julienne pulls Sister Bernadette aside.  
"Is everything alright, Sister? Only, you don't seem yourself this morning." She asks, concerned. Sister Bernadette nods. "I had a long night last night, longer than I had expected it to be." She replies, hoping that Sister Julienne can't see the truth. Sister Julienne simply nods. "If you need to rest, just say. I can cover you for a few hours." She kindly offers.  
"Thank you, Sister. But that is not necessary." Sister Bernadette rebukes her offer. They head off to the living room and join the other nuns in their handicrafts. 

"Sister Bernadette!" Trixie shouts down the corridor. She turns to see Trixie hurrying towards her.  
"Yes, Trixie?" She replies, waiting for her to catch up.  
"Would you mind terribly going to the Pulmers to deliver their baby? I'm going to the Thomsons now and you're third on call, but I can't find Sister Evangelina anywhere and she's second on call." Trixie asks, slightly breathless. Without hesitation Sister Bernadette says that she will. She and Trixie gather their things and head out together. 

Sister Bernadette emerges from the Pulmers' house in the early hours of the morning, Mrs Pulmers' labour having gone on longer than expected. She delivered a healthy baby girl and Sister Bernadette couldn't feel happier. That is, until she realises that she will be cycling alone in the dark again.  
"It's fine." She whispers to herself. "You've done it thousands of times before and you'll do it a thousand times again." She fixes her bag to her bike, mounts it carefully and pushes off. 

She rounds the corner a street before Nonnatus and swerves suddenly as a man steps out in front of her. He grabs her and pushes her into the wall.  
"Nice to see you again, Sister." He says, holding her flailing hands against the hard brick of the building. He kisses her, silencing the scream that was bubbling in her throat. He releases one of her hands and undoes his trousers again. He hitches up her skirts and pushes her knickers aside. He enters her and Sister Bernadette screams as the pain is worse this time. He silences her with a hand to her mouth.  
"Shh. You'll get us into trouble. No one can know about this." He whispers in her ear. Again he groans as he finishes. He pushes her to the ground and walks off, leaving Sister Bernadette on the floor in a sobbing heap. She bashed her head on the wall when he held her there and she can already feel a headache brimming. She shakily gets up and walks her bike down the street and into the bike shed. She goes up the steps of Nonnatus and lets herself in. 

She walks in to the clinical room again and cleans her instruments. Jenny walks in with a cup of tea for her and she smiles gratefully.  
"Did it not go well?" Jenny asks softly, spotting tears tracks on Sister Bernadette's face.  
"Oh, no, it's just cold outside and I was cycling a little fast. A healthy girl for Mrs Pulmers." She replies, wiping her face. Jenny nods, not fully believing her. Sister Bernadette and Jenny settle in the kitchen along with Trixie and have tea and biscuits. 

Jenny knocks on Sister Julienne's office door in the morning.  
"Enter." Sister Julienne says. Jenny goes in and greets Sister Julienne.  
"Please, take a seat." Sister Julienne says. Jenny sits in from of the desk.  
"Sister, I couldn't help but notice that Sister Bernadette didn't seem herself all through yesterday and she came in crying early this morning even though she delivered a healthy baby. Trixie noticed as well, so did Cynthia." Jenny tells Sister Julienne. Sister Julienne sighs.  
"Sister Evangelina and myself have also noticed. She has, however, said that she is alright. We will just have to keep an eye on her for now. Hopefully this will either pass or she will speak to Sister Evangelina or myself." Sister Julienne replies. Jenny nods in agreement. She stands.  
"Thank you, Sister." She says. Sister Julienne nods and Jenny leaves, closing the door softly behind her. Sister Julienne puts her head in her hands and sighs. She hopes Sister Bernadette will talk to her.


	3. Chapter 3

Several days had passed and all the Nonnatuns had noticed Sister Bernadette closing in on herself more and more and many a time had noticed tears in her eyes. Sister Julienne had seen that Sister Bernadette was in pain when she bent down the other day and had forced her to stop. Doctor Turner had done the same thing when Sister Bernadette was working at the surgery with him. However, none of them had managed to get her to speak about what was troubling her. They were growing ever concerned about her. 

Doctor Turner had noticed that Sister Bernadette was unhappy. She didn't even laugh at his awful jokes like she used to. His heart ached for her and for the first time in years, he found himself praying that she would be alright, or that she would get help from her Sisters. He loved her, and he couldn't bear to think of her unhappy and troubled. 

Sister Bernadette sat in the living room and cried. It had happened again. This wasn't going to stop any time soon, but she couldn't find the courage to tell anyone. What if they thought badly of her? 

Another day passed and she was attacked again. This time, however, Sister Julienne was waiting at the bike shed when Sister Bernadette got back. Sister Julienne immediately notices the tears on Sister Bernadette's face and puts a hand to her shoulder. Sister Bernadette flinches and pulls away slightly.  
"You and I are going to talk. Now. With Sister Evangelina as well. Come on." Sister Julienne says, gently, leading Sister Bernadette inside. Sister Julienne takes Sister Bernadette's bag and goes to the clinical room. "Will you clean Sister Bernadette's instruments for me, Nurse Miller? Sister Evangelina and I are going to talk to her for a moment." Cynthia nods and takes the bag from Sister Julienne, exchanging a nervous glance with Trixie and Jenny. Sister Julienne walks back out and to her office, where Sister Evangelina is sat with Sister Bernadette in front of her desk. Sister Julienne sits down in her chair and looks at Sister Bernadette.  
"Something has been troubling you, Sister. Please, let us help you." Sister Julienne asks. Sister Bernadette breaks down in heaving sobs and Sister Julienne and Sister Evangelina both hug her tightly.  
"Come on you, tell us what's going on." Sister Evangelina repeats. Sister Bernadette takes a deep, shaking breath and begins.  
"It happened on Sunday. He looked like he needed help so I went over to him. I kept my distance so I wouldn't startle him. He... grabbed me and then... then he... He raped me, he raped me then hit me repeatedly. I feel so ashamed!" Sister Bernadette sobs. Sister Evangelina and Sister Julienne look horrified and upset.  
"It happened on Monday as well, and then yesterday and today as well. He was waiting for me." Sister Bernadette says, leaning into Sister Julienne's shoulder, her voice muffled by the fabric. Sister Julienne hugs Sister Bernadette tightly, comforting her like a mother would her child. Sister Evangelina takes Sister Julienne's hand and they stay like that, with Sister Bernadette crying into Sister Julienne's shoulder.


	4. Chapter 4

Sister Bernadette had finally told Sister Julienne and Sister Evangelina about what had happened to her. They cried with her when she revealed that he had used his fingers and that he had said that he was happy that he had stolen her innocence. Sister Julienne rang for the police who were sending two constables around to investigate. Sister Evangelina went and got tea for them all and promised the nurses that they will know soon. Sister Julienne and Sister Evangelina sit with Sister Bernadette, who just cries into their shoulders. 

Sister Bernadette was sent to bed after the constables had left and Sister Evangelina was called out. This left Sister Julienne to tell the nurses what had happened.  
"I think it best if you all sit down." Sister Julienne says, sitting down at the head of the table. The nurses sit and turn to face Sister Julienne.  
"Sister Bernadette is in bed now, and I will thank you all to not have the record player up to loud tonight. She needs to rest." Sister Julienne says, leaving no room for argument. The nurses simply nod.  
"Sister Bernadette has just spoken to the police, whom you undoubtedly saw. She has told them, and myself and Sister Evangelina, that she has been attacked and raped four times over this week." Sister Julienne tells them. They all gasp.  
"Will she be alright?" Cynthia asks.  
"She will be. With our love and support. In time she will heal." Sister Julienne replies. She tells them the rest of the story and there is not a single dry eye around the table. "If you will excuse me, I must telephone Doctor Turner, Sister Bernadette will need to be examined." Sister Julienne says, rising from her chair and walking out, leaving the nurses in sad silence. Sister Julienne picks up the telephone and dials the familiar number belonging to Doctor Turner. 

Within fifteen minutes of Sister Julienne's call, Doctor Turner arrives. She lets him in and fills him in on the details. "She's upstairs. Follow me." Sister Julienne says, leading the way. They enter Sister Bernadette's room to find her sat on her bed, her head on her knees and crying. Sister Julienne wraps an arm around her and rubs her back. "Doctor Turner and I need to examine you. This is needed for the police report." Sister Julienne informs Sister Bernadette. She nods and lifts her head. Doctor Turner sees how defeated Sister Bernadette looks and nearly breaks down right there. He collects himself and begins the examination. He asks her questions along the way. "Sister. You said that the man pushed you against the wall?" Doctor Turner asks. Sister Bernadette nods. "I'll need to examine your back, to see if there is any damage." He tells her. She looks to Sister Julienne who nods and helps her out of her nightgown. Doctor Turner looks away out of respect. Sister Bernadette pulls the covers over her legs and then Doctor Turner looks at her back. He and Sister Julienne both gasp. There are several scars running up Sister Bernadette's back, they recognise them as coming from a belt, along with pock marks presumably from cigarettes. There is a lot of bruising all over her back, especially at the top. Doctor Turner checks for damage but can't find any other than the bruising. Sister Julienne helps Sister Bernadette back into her nightgown. "Wherever did you get those scars, Sister?" Sister Julienne tentatively asks. Sister Bernadette looks down at her hands. "My father. He... He never got over the death of my mother. Said I reminded him too much of her." She says, welling up. Sister Julienne sits next to her and hugs her. "I'll finish the rest of the examination. It will be less uncomfortable for her if I do it." Sister Julienne tells Doctor Turner. Knowing that she means the internal examination he packs his bag and leaves, closing the door with a soft snap behind him. 

He goes to his car and sits there and thinks. All she knew was a life of abuse. And now this had happened to her. He knows that she doesn't deserve this and he let's a few tears fall. He hates seeing anyone like that, but seeing her covered in bruises just makes him want to hold her in his arms and never let go of her. But he can't do that. He has to help in a professional way, for that is what their relationship is: professional.


	5. Chapter 5

Sister Julienne tells the nurses what happens during the examination. Leaving out the abuse from her father. She calls Sister Evangelina to her office after breakfast.  
"She has scars on her back. She said they were from her father. He whipped her with his belt and burned her with his cigarettes when she was about twelve, all the way through to seventeen. She said I could tell you." Sister Julienne informs Sister Evangelina. She looks shocked and upset. Both Sisters sit at Sister Julienne's desk and talk through what will happen over the next few weeks.  
"Wait." Sister Evangelina says. "Obviously she knows that it could happen, but what if she's pregnant?" Sister Julienne sighs.  
"If she's pregnant there is nothing we can do. She will stay here though, whether she keeps the baby or not. We are her family. She needs us." Sister Julienne replies. Sister Evangelina nods in agreement.  
"Let's hope she's not, though. I don't know what it will do to her." She says. Both Sisters rise and begin their day of work.


	6. Chapter 6

Two days passed before a constable came to Nonnatus. He informed Sister Bernadette privately that a George Clarke had been arrested and had admitted that he had attacked her. 

Sister Bernadette walks into the living room and everyone stops their conversations. She takes a deep breath. "They've arrested a man named George Clarke. The constable showed me a picture of him and it was definitely the man who attacked me. He's admitted to it and he's in prison now." She informs them all. Relief washes over them all and Sister Julienne hugs Sister Bernadette tightly as she cries.


	7. Chapter 7

Three weeks later there is a knock at Sister Julienne's door. She tells the person to enter and Sister Bernadette walks in to the room. She sees Sister Evangelina is with her and immediately apologises.  
"I'll come back later, sorry to disturb you." She says, making for the door.  
"Nonsense! Come here." Sister Evangelina says, pulling out a chair for Sister Bernadette. She closes the door and walks over and sits down.  
"Actually, this is something that you should probably hear as well." Sister Bernadette says. Sister Julienne encourages her to go on.  
"I'm not sure yet. But I've been ill most mornings and I've missed my monthly period. I'm now five days late. I think... I think I may be pregnant." She sobs the last few words as Sister Evangelina pulls her close.  
"We will find out for certain." Sister Julienne says, coming round and sitting next to Sister Bernadette, rubbing her back gently. She and Sister Evangelina exchange a look of sadness at their Sister having to go through this.

Sister Julienne walks in to the surgery and into Doctor Turner's office. He is signing the last forms for a batch of tests to be sent off to the London.  
"Hello Sister." He says, stopping writing.  
"Hello Doctor. Can you put this one in with the rest?" She holds up the sample she has in her hand.  
"I'm afraid it will have to go with the next batch. There isn't room in this one." Doctor Turner replies.  
"This is a priority. It's for Sister Bernadette." She says. Realisation dawns on him. "Oh." He says. "Of course. I'll switch it with this one." He takes one test out and Sister Julienne hands him Sister Bernadette's test.  
"It's her given name with different surname. So no one will ask questions." She says. She leaves the notes on his desk after thanking him. She leaves the surgery and heads straight back to Nonnatus House. 

Doctor Turner reads the name on the test bottle.  
"Shelagh." He says aloud. Now her name will haunt his every waking and sleeping moment. He carefully puts the test in the box and signs the rest of the forms. He hands the box to Nurse Miller who takes them to the London.


	8. Chapter 8

Doctor Turner knocks on the door of Nonnatus House. Sister Evangelina lets him in.  
"May I speak with Sister Julienne?" He asks. Sister Evangelina nods. "This way." She says and she leads him to Sister Julienne's office.  
"Enter." They hear her call. Doctor Turner lets himself in. Sister Julienne stops writing and looks up.  
"Hello Sister." He says. She gestures to the seat in front of her. Doctor Turner sits down. He opens his bag and takes out a sheet of paper.  
"Sister Bernadette's test results came in. I haven't read them." He hands her the sheet of paper.  
"Thank you Doctor. I shall get her to come in here. She should be the first to know." She says, getting up, placing the paper on the desk and leaving. She comes back a few minutes later with Sister Bernadette. They both sit down and Sister Julienne hands Sister Bernadette the paper.  
"We don't know yet. You'll be the first to know." She says. Sister Bernadette nods.  
"I think I already know, Sister." She whispers. She unfolds the paper and slowly reads it's contents. She starts to cry.  
"Positive." Is all she says. Sister Julienne hugs Sister Bernadette.  
"It's alright my dear. It's alright." She soothes. 

Doctor Turner is about to leave when Sister Evangelina and the nurses catch up with him.  
"Sister Julienne said to ask you. What were they, her results?" Sister Evangelina orders.  
He hangs his head.  
"Positive, Sister. She's pregnant." He replies. Sister Evangelina fights back tears then heads upstairs to Sister Bernadette's room.  
"Thank you Doctor." Nurse Franklin says. He nods then lets himself out. The nurses walk down to the kitchen and sit in silence. 

Sister Evangelina knocks on Sister Bernadette's door.  
"Come in." Sister Julienne calls from inside. She goes in and straight over to a distraught Sister Bernadette. She takes her in her arms and rubs her back.  
"Has Sister Julienne told you that you're staying here, no matter what?" She asks. She feels Sister Bernadette nod. "Good." Sister Evangelina adds. Sister Julienne and Sister Evangelina stay with Sister Bernadette until she falls asleep, exhausted from crying. 

Doctor Turner sits down on his sofa with Timothy at his side.  
"Dad, what's wrong? Is it Sister Bernadette?" He asks.  
When did Timothy get so inquisitive? He nods.  
"I told you that she was attacked, didn't I?" He starts. Timothy nods.  
"Well, now we've found out that she's going to have a baby." He says.  
"But... She can't have a baby. She's a nun. And she's not married." He says. Doctor Turner shakes his head.  
"No. But the Sisters and nurses are going to look after her and she's staying with them." He tells him.  
"Will she keep her baby?" Timothy asks.  
That stumps Doctor Turner.  
"I don't know. It's a hard decision, Tim, so don't ask her too many questions when you next see her alright?" Doctor Turner asks. Timothy nods.  
"I won't." He promises. Timothy goes to bed after saying goodnight, leaving Doctor Turner alone. Oh how he loves her. He's fallen completely in love with her. He'll help out with the baby if they need it. He would marry her if he could, and raise her child as his own.


	9. Chapter 9

Two months later... 

Sister Bernadette had reached the end of her first trimester. She still hadn't begun to show, but Sister Julienne had given her two skirt suits and three day dresses to wear. Her morning sickness has gone and she has started to become happier as the days go by. 

Doctor Turner and Timothy are around at Nonnatus for tea and they are all sat around the kitchen table. Timothy and Sister Bernadette are talking animatedly about butterflies whilst Sister Julienne and Nurse Franklin are talking with Doctor Turner. After they have finished their tea Doctor Turner is called out, leaving Timothy with Sister Evangelina and Sister Bernadette. Timothy tires quickly and falls asleep against Sister Bernadette's shoulder. Sister Evangelina leans forward from her seat.  
"How are you doing?" She asks. Sister Bernadette looks at her.  
"I'm doing alright. I'm still unsure of what's happening here." She puts her hand to her stomach lightly. Sister Evangelina nods.  
"You won't be sure for a while. But, whatever you do, we will support you. We're here for you." She tells her, holding her hand for a moment. Sister Bernadette nods, tears in her eyes. 

Two months later... 

Sister Bernadette is five months pregnant. She is downstairs with Sister Julienne in the chapel just after Lauds. They are sat together in silence, praying. Suddenly Sister Bernadette's hand flies to her stomach, accompanied by a gasp. Sister Julienne puts a hand to Sister Bernadette's shoulder. Sister Bernadette smiles.  
"It's alright. Baby's just moving." She says. "First time I've felt it." She adds. Sister Julienne puts a hand to Sister Bernadette's stomach. She feels the baby kicking and smiles at Sister Bernadette.  
"It's strong." She says. Sister Bernadette smiles at her. They stay that way until the baby stops kicking then they move in to the living room. 

Later on, Sister Julienne and Sister Evangelina hear Sister Bernadette crying in her room as they walk past. They knock on her door and go in. Sister Julienne goes straight over to Sister Bernadette and wraps her up in a hug. Sister Evangelina sits on the bed next to them.  
"What is it my dear?" Sister Julienne asks. Sister Bernadette straightens and wipes her face.  
"I... I can't give it up. The baby. How can I give up a part of me?" She sobs. Sister Julienne smiles, as does Sister Evangelina.  
"We knew you wouldn't be able to give it up. And you're still going to live here, Sister. Though, I think we should call you Shelagh now, don't you?" Sister Julienne says with tears in her eyes. Shelagh nods.  
"I think so. Thank you. For allowing me to stay." She replies.  
"You belong here, with us." Sister Evangelina says, taking Shelagh's hand. "Both of you." Shelagh hugs both of them and they leave Shelagh sleeping peacefully for the first time in months.


	10. Chapter 10

The papers had been signed and Sister Bernadette was now officially Shelagh Mannion. All of Nonnatus couldn't be happier that Shelagh was keeping her baby. Timothy had loved it when he first felt the baby move when she was six months gone, so had everyone else, including Doctor Turner. Shelagh found herself falling more and more in love with him now that she was not bound by her vows. He haunted her dreams at night. She would often find herself dreaming of Doctor Turner with her child, loving it as his own. But she wakes up each time and thinks that it's wishful thinking. How could he love someone else's child? But she loves someone else's child. She loves his son, she loves Timothy. So maybe he could love her child. It's all so confusing for her, but only time will tell. 

Shelagh is woken with a start as she feels her abdomen tighten. She puts a hand to her stomach and breathes deeply and evenly. She times the pain and realises that it's no longer false labour, she's finally going to meet her child. When the pain dissipates she slowly gets up and goes to Sister Julienne's door. She knocks softly. Sister Julienne opens it a moment later. She is startled when she sees Shelagh.  
"I'm in labour. I thought someone should know. Waters haven't gone yet, it's still early stages." She tells her. Sister Julienne nods.  
"Right, let's get you back to bed and I'll let Sister Evangelina know. We'll check on you when we get up for Lauds then we will stay here with you through the day." She says, helping Shelagh back to her room. Shelagh settles down again and falls asleep easily. 

Shelagh's labour had progressed smoothly throughout the morning. She had, however, refused to have any pain relief. Sister Evangelina is rubbing Shelagh's back as contraction sweeps over her and Sister Julienne is timing it as Shelagh clings onto her, breathing deeply.  
"Are you sure you don't want the gas and air?" You might benefit from it." Sister Evangelina asks. Shelagh shakes her head.  
"No. I'm doing this the way my mother did it." Shelagh replies as the contraction passes. They both nod and help her to the bed so she can be examined.  
"You're nearly there. Not long now." Sister Evangelina tells Shelagh. Shelagh nods and leans against Sister Julienne. 

Doctor Turner was informed that Shelagh went into labour and, as promised, he comes around to check on her. He's let in to the room and he sees Shelagh breathing through a contraction, nearly silent and completely within control. A surge of pride washes over him, though he knows it shouldn't.  
"How is she?" He asks, stepping closer. Sister Evangelina smiles at him.  
"She's doing very well. Not a single groan from her, breathing through each one and nine fingers dilated. Nearly there." She tells him. Sister Julienne comes back over and rubs Shelagh's back as she straightens. She is sat on the bed and Doctor Turner can honestly say that he doesn't think she could be more beautiful than right now.  
"I would like you to stay here, just in case things get complicated. If you are able." Sister Julienne tells him. He nods and Sister Julienne gestures to the seat in the corner. He takes it and watches as Shelagh dilates all the way.  
"Right, you can start pushing now Shelagh." Sister Evangelina says, ready to deliver the baby. Shelagh pushes.  
"That's it. Well done." Sister Evangelina says. Sister Julienne puts her arm around Shelagh for support.  
"Here comes the head!" Sister Evangelina tells them. Doctor Turner moves closer so he's on hand if something goes wrong. Shelagh puts her hands between her legs and supports the baby's head as it emerges. She breathes deeply, then pushes again. Sister Evangelina and Sister Julienne look at each other with pride. Shelagh ignores everything that is going on around her, going completely into her own body. It's inspiring to watch. Sister Evangelina steps back and lets Shelagh deliver her child. With one final push the baby comes out, crying delicately, and Shelagh instantly brings it to her chest, holding it close. She checks the gender.  
"A little girl." She cries, kissing her daughter's forehead. Tears fall down the cheeks of everyone in the room as the baby stops crying and nuzzles into Shelagh's breast.


	11. Chapter 11

Sister Julienne is sat by Shelagh's bed, holding the baby. Shelagh is asleep, curled up in a ball. Sister Julienne kisses the baby's flailing fist and holds the baby's hand gently in her own.  
"Hello you." She whispers to the baby. "We're so happy you're here. You're going to have so many people that love you little one. You are absolutely perfect in every way and I know that you will be so much like your Mummy." Shelagh had woken up and had been listening to Sister Julienne. She smiles.  
"She will." She whispers. "Thank you. For everything." Shelagh adds, holding Sister Julienne's hand. Sister Julienne smiles at her. Shelagh slowly sits up as the baby begins to fuss. Sister Julienne passes the baby to Shelagh after she has pulled her nightgown down. The baby latches on instantly and begins to suckle. Shelagh sighs.  
"I'm naming her Angela." She tells Sister Julienne. Sister Julienne smiles.  
"That's beautiful." She says, stroking the baby's head.  
"Angela Julienne." Shelagh adds. Sister Julienne is shocked.  
"Are you sure?" She asks. Shelagh nods.  
"You're like a mother to me. You've always been here for me and you helped me deliver her. Her name is Angela Julienne." She confirms. Sister Julienne sits next to Shelagh and brings her into a hug. They stay like that until Angela finishes. Sister Julienne winds her and the passes her back to Shelagh. They all fall into a peaceful sleep together.


	12. Chapter 12

Doctor Turner walks into the living room and sees Shelagh breastfeeding Angela.  
"Sorry, I didn't see you there." He says, looking away.  
"It's alright." Shelagh says, covering Angela and herself with a blanket. Doctor Turner sits down opposite her.  
"How is she?" He asks. Shelagh removes the blanket when Angela finishes and tidies herself up. She passes Angela to Doctor Turner.  
"See for yourself." She says, smiling at him. He smiles at Angela and winds her, laughing when she releases a small belch.  
"She's perfect." He says. Shelagh smiles at him.  
"You seem as taken with her as the rest of us." Shelagh comments. He nods.  
"How can't I be? She's absolutely beautiful." He says. Shelagh cries at that. He moves to sit next to her.  
"It's alright." He says, putting a hand to her back. Shelagh looks directly at him and swallows.  
"I... never mind." Shelagh starts, then stops herself.  
"What?" He asks.  
"I was going to ask if you love her, for some reason. I don't know why. She's not yours, how could you?" Shelagh says. Doctor Turner sighs.  
"I do love her." He tells Shelagh, adjusting Angela in his arms. "I love her like you love Timothy. As your own. I've loved her since the minute she was born. I was afraid of telling you, I thought you'd push me away."  
Shelagh looks shocked.  
"As your own?" She asks. He nods, looking down at Angela.  
"She'd be my daughter, if we married. That's how much I love this little one. And... I don't want to scare you, but... I've fallen in love with you as well. I know I shouldn't have, but... I can't help falling in love with you." He admits, making Shelagh cry even more.  
"Oh. You haven't scared me. I... I must admit, I see Timothy as my own, you know that. And... I think I've fallen in love with you as well. Even before all of this happened." Shelagh confesses. He looks at her and smiles a small smile. She returns it.  
"I've wanted to do this for quite some time." Shelagh says. Doctor Turner looks confused.  
"Do what?" He asks.  
"This." Shelagh says, leaning forwards and capturing his lips in a soft kiss, pouring every ounce of love she has for him into it. He returns the kiss and when they break away they smile at each other.  
"There, we've made a start."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone notice the song quote in there? :)


	13. Chapter 13

Everyone is at the clinic, all crowding around Shelagh and Angela.  
"You kissed him?" Trixie asks Shelagh excitedly. Shelagh nods, blushing slightly.  
"About time to!" Sister Evangelina says from somewhere outside the circle of nurses. Shelagh laughs. "I didn't think you'd be the one to say that, Sister." Shelagh comments.  
"Well. I've seen the pair of you and it was painfully obvious that it was going to happen at some point." She says, coming over and taking Angela in her arms.  
"Hello you. I think you need to be weighed, don't you?" She cooes. Shelagh smiles at the both of them.  
"Come on then, let's get her checked over." She says and Shelagh follows her over to Sister Julienne at the weighing table. Doctor Turner is over there as well.  
Sister Julienne takes Angela and carefully weighs her.  
"She's put on two ounces Shelagh. She's doing so well." She says, handing Angela back to Shelagh. Sister Evangelina steps up to Doctor Turner.  
"I'd watch out, Patrick. She's found out." Shelagh warns him. Sister Evangelina starts her little tirade and the nurses gather around, trying to stifle laughs.  
"Right. Shelagh is precious to all of us, as is Angela. You hurt her and I will boot you into tomorrow. And it will hurt. Do you understand? You take care of her, and treat her with the respect she deserves. Got me?" She says, pointing her finger at Patrick. He nods, looking a little worried.  
"That stands for me as well." Sister Julienne says. "Shelagh is practically my daughter, Angela my grandaughter. If either of them are hurt, you will be sorry." She joins Sister Evangelina in front of Patrick.  
"Yes Sisters. I understand. I'll never hurt Shelagh or Angela. You have my word." He replies.  
"Good. Back to work ladies!" Sister Evangelina says, turning around and shooing the nurses away who shriek with joy and run back to their stations. Sister Julienne smiles at Patrick then goes back to work herself. Patrick turns around and sees Shelagh and Timothy laughing side by side.  
"What's so funny?" He asks.  
"You're face!" Timothy says, between laughs. "You looked so scared!" He and Shelagh continue laughing at him. They eventually calm down and Patrick takes Angela from Shelagh.  
"You don't find it funny, do you?" He asks, holding her hand. It's at this moment that Angela decides to smile.  
"Oh, I think she does!" Shelagh says, pulling Timothy to her side and hugging Patrick.  
"I told you that that would happen at some point. They're happy for us, that's all that matters." Shelagh says. Patrick nods.  
"It is."  
"Does this mean that we'll get to go to Nonnatus House more?" Timothy pipes up. "They always have cake."  
Shelagh and Patrick laugh.  
"I think it does, yes." Shelagh says.  
"Yes!" Timothy replies. He brings tears to Patrick and Shelagh's eyes as he kisses Angela's forehead and whispers "I love you." He then runs off with Jack outside to play. Patrick hugs Shelagh.  
"He's happy that he finally has a sibling." He whispers in her ear.  
"I suppose he is." She replies.  
They walk to the kitchen together and join the rest of Nonnatus House. 

Shelagh finally felt like she belonged. For months she had struggled with her calling but then she found it, even though it was hard: motherhood.


End file.
